Parental Burnout: The Perfect Storm

If you’ve daydreamed about a few days in the hospital to get away from your kids, you might be burned out.

I absolutely adore my two daughters. And yet, sometimes I feel utterly exhausted and depleted as a parent. The thought of one more bedtime or children’s board game feels like more energy than I could possibly muster. In those moments, I long for the child-free days when I could lounge in bed with coffee and a book, work without interruption, and run leisurely errands all by myself. I’ve even imagined how nice a few days in the hospital (for a minor procedure, of course) would be, just so I could have time to rest and recharge.

Parenting is a hard, demanding role, often without built-in breaks, which is recipe for burnout. Most highly-engaged parents feel exhausted and burned out from time to time. But for some, Parental Burnout can be more chronic, impacting the ability to function at our best and engage with our child(ren) effectively.

You may be at higher risk for Parental Burnout if:

  • You have high standards for trying to be a “perfect” parent.

  • You lack practical and/or emotional support from a co-parent or others.

  • You struggle to handle stress and emotions.

  • You could use better parenting skills, and are frequently unsure what to do as a parent.

  • You have a child with behavioral issues.

  • You spend so much time and energy caring for others you have “nothing left to give.”

  • You are in the parent role all the time, with few breaks - perhaps a full-time parent, one who only works part-time, or one who works from home.

Nowadays, with the COVID-19 pandemic, parents are especially stressed. They are navigating new roles and demands while trying to parent, teach their kids, and provide for their families. All of this with no childcare breaks. It’s the perfect storm for Parental Burnout.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Here are some signs of Parental Burnout:

  • Exhaustion

  • Overwhelming, chronic stress

  • Feeling emotionally disengaged from your child(ren)

  • Feeling like you aren’t yourself as a parent

  • Feeling fed up with parenting

Tips for Burned-Out Parents:

Don’t break a bone to get the escape you want! Instead, try some of these strategies to help with parental burnout:

  • The first step is to recognize what’s going on and have some compassion for yourself - parenting is hard, it’s normal to feel stressed and burned out sometimes.

  • Go easy on yourself. You’re doing the best you can, and it’s good enough. There is no such thing as a “perfect parent” so try not to fall into the trap of buying into unrealistic standards.

  • Reach out for support! Having enough support is crucial. Reach out to your partner, family, friends, other parents, or a mental health professional, and let them know you’re struggling.

  • Remind yourself that you are not alone; many parents are stressed right now. Things will change, it won’t be like this forever.

  • Reconnect with your values as a parent. Remind yourself of the meaningful aspects of parenting, and ask yourself what you care most about when it comes to your kids. See if you can bring more vitality into your role as a parent.

  • Do something fun with your kids - something you actually enjoy too (i.e. not a kids’ board game if you’re maxed out on board games). Maybe go for a walk outdoors, cook or read together, or watch a funny movie.

  • Carve out time for self-care, and self-kindness. See if you can find small, realistic ways to take care of yourself - stretch for a few minutes, go to bed earlier for a little extra sleep, take a short break to do a few minutes of relaxing breathing. Prioritize whatever it is that recharges your batteries, in a way that will fit into your busy life.

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